Friday, March 21, 2008

CNN profiles pet blogs that aren't mine

An article today on CNN's Web site chronicles the growing trend of pets with blogs. And the fodder is oh-so-predictable. Cretinous cats with unforgivably bad spelling. Obtuse dogs whose blogs are the equivalent of: "Pant, pant. Round, bouncing object. Must ... slobber ... on ... it." I'm surprised CNN didn't profile a blogging mouse who shares incisive analyses such as: "Cheeeeeze! It's not just for crackers anymore."

An erudite cat such as I can see right through this smokescreen. CNN is afraid to feature animal bloggers who might actually have something more astute to say than Wolf Blitzer (who, to the relief of wild canines everywhere, is not part of their family tree). I am less of a blowhard than Anderson Cooper and, unlike Larry King, I do not frighten small children.

CNN correspondents don't want you to know that they're being shown up by creatures without opposable thumbs (which, by the by, is highly overrated if you ask me—Blitzer has two of them, and it hasn't done a whit for his journalistic abilities).

While it's important that dogs, for example, have a way to interact with their peer group besides sphincter-sniffing, it's dangerous for self-aware animals to be excluded from the sphere of news coverage. I challenge Soledad O'Brien to investigate this sector of non-human Internet commentators, if only to show that CNN is not a coward.

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