Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Attention all rabbits: mind your ears and tongues

Easter is fast upon us, and sadistic children everywhere will soon be savagely biting the ears off chocolate bunnies. I know, I know. You probably find this activity harmless. But remember what happened when trinket manufacturers decided dyed rabbit feet would make dandy keychains? Somewhere a diabolical entrepreneur is thinking: People are ravenous for chocolate bunny ears. But they so quickly melt away. Real bunny ears are substantive. Sort of like a Slim Jim. And then a light bulb appears: Eureka. Rabbit-ear jerky! I don't think it'd take consumers long to get on board.

The baby bunny in this picture has no idea what kind of world awaits him. If he did, he wouldn't have his marketable appendage so carelessly perched on that wire. Nor would he expose that dainty pink tongue. Let the chocolate kitten tongue story be a cautionary tale. German chocolatiers are eager to double-dip any protruding extremities in their path.

Look sharp, Peter Cottontail!

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