Joe Wilson, presidential heckler, delivers Quote of the Week:

Yelled by S.C. Republican Congressman Joe Wilson at the President during tonight's address to Congress:

"You lie!"

Stay classy, dude.

Quote of the Week

John McCain, at a town hall meeting today, on what he calls a "peaceful revolt*" by Americans opposed to Obama's health care reform plan:

"I've seen involvement and engagement on the part of Americans that I have never seen the likes of which before."

More than, say, the involvement that led to his ass-kicking in November '08? That man's got serious memory impairment. Good thing he's covered by Congress's gold-plated health care insurance plan AND Medicare.

*They're revolting alright.

Quote of the Week: Just one more obnoxious thing T.O. said

NFL running back Terrell Owens, on Commissioner Roger Goodell's decision to make recently reinstated NFL quarterback and dog executioner Michel Vick sit out the first few regular season games of 2009:

"I think he’s done the time for what he’s done. I don’t think it’s really fair for him to be suspended four more games," said Owens. "That’s almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground."

Nice choice of words, TO.

QOTW, an oldie but goody

Warmonger and never-served-in-the-armed-forces Dick Cheney to Washington Post reporter George Wilson on his deferments and nonservice during the Vietnam War:

"I had other priorities in the '60s than military service."

"The President is goddamned wrong on this"

That's the QOTW. Keith Olbermann, last night, on President Obama's pathetic lip service on repealing the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Then today: a story that Robert Gates is proposing a "less draconian way" to enforce that rule.

Reports CNN: "For the first time, U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates is outlining potential Obama administration plans to enforce the "don't ask, don't tell" rule selectively so that some gays could serve in the military.


credit

"Gates said he is looking at ways to make the policy 'more humane', including letting people serve who may have been outed due to vengeance or a jilted lover. The remarks appeared in a transcript the Pentagon released Tuesday."

Seems like the DOD is stranded in the Land of the Outlandish.

The President is goddamned wrong on this.

Klein to McCain: Shutty! (QOTW)

Joe Klein on John McCain's non-stop blathering about how Barack Obama isn't sticking his nose far enough into Iran's business:

"Be quiet," said Klein. "You don't need to do this. You know? You know what you're doing is a self-indulgent at this point. Sen. McCain, if he's going to talk about this, should also talk about the fact that the United States supported Saddam Hussein in the Iran/Iraq war for eight years. Every one of those protesters out in the streets, every last one of them believes the United States supplied Saddam Hussein with the poison gas that has debilitated tens of thousands of Iranian men."

Zing!

A friend in the White House? Not really. My QOTW.

Civil lawyer Emma Ruby-Sachs on Obama's "memo" giving two--count 'em, two--"benefits" to gay federal employees:

"I hate to be the one to explain a rights struggle to the first black President, but the equality movement is not a grab bag of rights. You don't get to reach in and see which prize you've won. Each of the rights discussed above--the right to benefits for your partner, the right to serve openly in the military and the right to access the same tax breaks and immigration privileges given to heterosexual couples--should be granted. Immediately. Granting one does not absolve trespass over the other rights."

QOTW, Installment 8, sort of

I know that a headline isn't really a quote, but this one was too good to pass up:

"Gay Penguins Raising Abandoned Chick"

QOTW Installment 7 Override

Lame call. My bad. Here's the real winner.

Actor Craig T. Nelson to I-Sure-Hope-He's-Acting Glenn Beck on American capitalism. (FOX "news" rantscript here.)

"What happened to society? I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. I've been on food stamps and welfare, did anybody help me out? No. No. They gave me hope, they gave me encouragement, and they gave me a vision."

What the frak were they serving in the green room?

Henry's Quote of the Week, 7th Installment

Malarkey courtesy of BK franchise owners in Tennessee.

Henry's Quote of the Week, 6th Installment

Sorry I'm so late getting out my QOTW. I'm not sure anyone could've trumped this anyway. John McCain's pal and Hitler-worshipper G. Gordon Liddy had this to say about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor:

"Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then."

Oh, G-Go. Let's hope that the next time you open your piehole, I'm not nearby with a rocket-propelled cat-shit grenade.

Henry's Quote of the Week, 5th Installment

Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) on why CO2 emissions aren't causing global warming and therefore shouldn't be regulated:

"Carbon dioxide is not a pollutant in any normal definition of the term. I'm creating it as I talk to you. It's in your Coca-Cola. your Dr. Pepper and your Perrier water. It's necessary for human life. It's odorless, colorless, tasteless, doesn't cause cancer, doesn't cause asthma. There's nobody that's ever been admitted to a hospital because of CO2 poisoning."

Ah, Texans. You never let us down.

Henry's Quote of the Week, 4th Installment

Former pro wrestler and Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura on former VP Dick Cheney:

"You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders."

Video here.

Henry's Quote of the Week, 3rd Installment

Octogenarian etiquettarian Letitia Baldrige on how to stop shaking hands (in a socially acceptable way) (because of the swine flu):

"When greeting people on the street or at an event, raise your right hand in a quick salute and put it back down to your side again. Accompany this gesture with a wide, friendly grin and a cheerful spoken greeting: 'Hello, George. Great to see you!' Your voice and your smile will compensate for any rejected handshake. Even if George had already put his hand out, ready to grasp yours in the old familiar warm greeting, he will understand your new gesture and will not suffer from emotional rejection."

Poor George. He spits on his hands entirely too much.

Henry's Quote of the Week, 2nd Installment

Some of you may be wondering why I select my Quote of the Week at or near the beginning of the week rather than evaluating the contenders at the end of the week. I just think it's more challenging this way. The idea is that I have to make a call as early as possible when I see a quote that I believe isn't likely to be topped before the week is out—something that I deem so incisive, witty or outrageous that no one could possibly say anything more wise, funny or ridiculous by Thursday or Friday. I like a good gamble. (You should see me when I get anywhere near a craps table.)

If you discover a quote that you think would have been a better choice, please e-mail me and if I deem it blog-worthy, I will mention it in one of my posts.

This week's selection is a tie. I know. That might be construed as soft and indecisive. But this is my blog and I make the rules, even if they don't seem fair to you.

On former VP Dick Cheney's inability to shut the frak up about how many ways in which the Obama administration has destroyed the Union, CNN's Jack Cafferty pithily delivered:

"Please, go quail hunting and leave the rest of us alone."

Oh please, oh please, oh please. Please take Karl Rove with you.

On yesterday's military-sanctioned "photo op" of a 747-like plane skimming the New York skyline, sending shell-shocked Manhattanites ducking and covering, former Bush adviser Fran Townsend said:

"I'd call this felony stupidity."

I say get in line, Felony Stupidity. This is akin to thinking that if you waterboard someone 180 times, the prisoner will say: "OK, I was able to withstand 179, but now I've reached my limit." Reminds me of that old definition of insanity attributed to Albert Einstein: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Now I have to go cross my furry digits that Minnesota Sen. Michelle Bachmann doesn't get anywhere near an open microphone before the end of the week. Let's stroll down memory lane, shall we:

"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level." —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, Jobs, Energy and Community Development Committee, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage and advocating the elimination of the minimum wage altogether..

"Many teenagers that come in should be paying the employer because of broken dishes or whatever occurs during that period of time. But you know what? After six months, that teenager is going to be a fabulous employee and is going to go on a trajectory where he's going to be making so much money, we'll be borrowing money from him." —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, explaining why teenagers should pay employers for the privilege of working instead of receiving minimum wage.

"If we allow businesses to be prosperous and accrue capital, they’ll be giving their employees more than they can even begin to imagine. But when we continue to tie cement blocks on businesses (like the minimum wage) and constrain them, they can actually do less than their employees."—Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage and explaining why it actually keeps wages and benefits lower.

By this logic, every time Bachmann opens her mouth, she will be drawing less and less of a stipend until she eventually owes the Senate money. This deranged raccoon has been breaking a LOT of dishes.

Henry's Quote of the Week, First Installment

I know it's only Monday, but I can't imagine it getting any better than this. Meghan McCain, upon her disgust at learning that Karl Rove is following her Tweets:

"We need to take Twitter back from the creepy people."