Home alone

Readers, it pains me to admit that this report is not coming to you from the road but rather from my own 1,800-square-foot kingdom. You see, what I thought sounded like "You're going on vacation" was in fact, "We're going on vacation." And though I'm not really home alone (as there is a human "caregiver" staying with me, along with the usual furry nitwits), I thought the subject heading would tug at your heartstrings.

Am I upset? Of course not. Had I been traveling, I would not have been able to watch CNN's round-the-clock broadcast of the exterior of Hillary Clinton's house. What's a vacation when you can ogle Hillary Clinton's draperies for 24 hours from the confines of your living room? I guess it was safe TV for those viewers plagued with motion sickness. For any of you wanting a bit more of a thrill ride, may I suggest the Naked Molerat Cam?