Consecutive Miss USAs stricken with mysterious inner-ear disorder

Cats aren't clumsy. You wouldn't believe the places I can ascend and descend and the clutter I can navigate without so much as tipping over a paper cup. But as agile as I am, I can't walk down a runway in a dress and high heels. Apparently, neither can the two most recent Miss USAs. Miss USA 2007 Rachel Smith and Miss USA 2008 Crystle Stewart each went ass-over-tea-kettle in the evening gown competition of consecutive Miss Universe pageants. Miss Smith went down like a figure skater but quickly regained her composure. Miss Stewart inexplicably applauded herself after her own spill. They wouldn't have had a prayer on America's Next Top Model's semi-submerged floating runway. (Tyra Banks truly is a sadist.)

And now, Emily the cat will show these ladies how it's done.

You must be 3 feet tall to ride this ride

If the trophy for winning a beauty pageant is taller than the contestants, they are probably too young to compete.