Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Ax the spray: Take a shower, dude!

I love it when the mail comes because I know that the Madame is going to toss a few jewels into my In Box. Like this ad for Axe Bullet. I gather it's a pocket-size container of some kind of boy perfume. In case you can't read the fine print, allow me to transcribe:
"The new Axe Bullet is super small for easy access so you can grab and spray anytime, anywhere. Now you'll never miss an opportunity. Keeping these items in your pocket will make sure you're always prepared for a spontaneous hook-up."
The young man in this ad looks like he has been estranged from soap and water for quite some time. I don't know any self-respecting feline who'd even take a treat from his hand. Is this Axe substance really going to take up the slack? (I know. His companion looks smitten, but remember—she's being paid to smile). The Madame agreed, saying, If you're so "active" that you can't squeeze in a shower between "engagements" then I think it's time your mom had a talk with you. Oh, and dude—give your Dad his watch back already.

That's not all, you crazy kids! Check out the promotional blurb in the bottom righthand corner. Seems that if you buy a four-pack of the body odor-obscurant, you'll get a free pack of breath-freshening gum. I can hear scummy-toothed guys everywhere exhaling: Whew! That whole toothbrush thing was slowing me down."

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