Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Paula Abdul suffocates chihuahuas!

American Idol was barely under way Tuesday before the Madame and I started wagering on what Paula Abdul was concealing beneath her torturous bodice. Following Michael Johns' ear-shattering "glory notes" at the end of Aerosmith's "Dream On," Abdul announced: "I think my chihuahuas are going to come join you on stage." Yet, they never materialized! During the commercial break, the truth was discovered: the chihuahuas expired before they could be wrested free from the amalgam of boobs and taffeta. In order to preserve the integrity of Adbul's "cleavage," the dogs remained in situ until after the show, our sources confirmed.

The chihuahuas' next-of-kin could not be reached for comment. Charges are pending.

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