Sunday, February 3, 2008

Bill Belichick: Classless to the End, First-Class Jerk, The Spoiledest of Spoiled Sports

Sometimes the other cats in this house have what we like to call "The Smackdown." Smilla the Sasquatch and Pickles the Pounder (their WWE wrestler names) face off in the hallway and body-slam each other like there's no tomorrow. But when it's over and the fur has settled, they come together and rub noses to show there are no hard feelings.

New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick, the man who began this year's NFL season laden by a record half-million dollar fine for cheating, had an opportunity to show an ounce of class after the New York Giants handed the Patriots their hineys in the Super Bowl tonight. Instead, in the post-game interview, he acted like a 3-year-old whose sand castle had been kicked in. In fact, I think he acted WORSE. He could've sucked it up for the camera and been gracious, congratulating the Giants on their win. The interviewer even had the perfect opportunity to prompt him with a meaningful question (a novel idea, huh?) such as: Do you have anything you'd like to say to the Giants?

Now I'll admit, there's nothing more disappointing than seeing your sand art get ruined, that is if you're THREE YEARS OLD. But Belichick is 55. Even with the whopping financial penalty that was levied against him, he still reportedly makes about $3.5 million a year. He could have jewel-encrusted pancakes for breakfast every day if he wanted to. Surely he could cough up a few pennies for charm school lessons.

In spite of what I realize is a devastating loss, Bill Belichick's team won a staggering 18 games straight this season. When asked what he'd say to his team, I think he mumbled something like: Um, snuffle, blah, mumble. Might I suggest: "You guys played your hearts out this year. You've got nothing to be ashamed of."

Pickles and Smilla: I'm proud of you both. You display impeccable sportsmanship.

Bill: A big, fat, slobbery tabby-cat raspberry to you.

Oh, and Eli, Plaxico, Michael S. and all the other Giants*:
Congratulations. There are five cats and two humans in this house who are swelled with pride!

*To Giants Coach Tom Coughlin: If you can prove that your personality reform is more than just an engineered public-relations stunt, I may congratulate you one day as well.


tagere7 said...

His Bell was Checked last night kitty cat! I completely agree with you on his ridiculously unsportsman like conduct to the Giants as well as his own team. He has zero class. He needs to be checked by the owners of the Patriots, because after 18 straight wins you treat those hard working men like crap and run down the tunnel without any acknowledgemnet of their efforts. Pure selfishness. He's a punk! Meow Meow! Scratch Scratch!!

Henry said...

Hey, glad to represent!