McDonald's offers free-range McNuggets, limited time only

A McDonald's in Temecula, California has finally captured a hen that had been living in its parking lot for four months. The company claimed the hen has gone to live on an employee's farm, but I believe they are trying to cover up a lesser-reported story that a customer complained shortly thereafter that his McNuggets were suspiciously delicious. In a very Tiananmen Square-like posture of defiance, the chicken had been planting herself in front of cars trying to exit the drive-thru. That's when the company finally said: Enough.

Also unreported in the story is the ultimate means of the chicken's capture. An anonymous source has told Henry's Travels that the company enlisted the help of the Chick-fil-A cows to nab the hen, then defaulted on a promise to release the bird into their custody. The cows, already embroiled in their own "Eat More Chikin" campaign, were too exhausted to protest. My source has also told me that the cows dispersed upon threat of becoming the centerpiece of a new value meal.