Shut up, I'm trying to watch the game

I never thought I'd be taking up for John McCain, especially while simultaneously scolding my beloved Rachel Maddow, but here goes:

There are pretty much three types of people at Super Bowl parties. (1) Some have no interest whatsoever in the game, but they like nachos and socializing. Some people (2) like those things as well, have a passing interest in the game, and are good at multi-tasking. The other kind of Super Bowl viewer is (3) someone who loves football and is really, really interested in the game. This kind of person often can't stand to have a bunch of commotion going on while he or she is watching the action and also trying to hear the announcers when a play is in dispute or other vital information is needed. We suspect Rachel is in none of the above categories, particularly the latter. However, the Madame and I are entrenched in category 3, as is, we suspect, John McCain. That's why we disagree with her assertion that McCain is snubbing Obama—and commiting a severe breach of etiquette—by declining the invitation to attend the White House's bipartisan Super Bowl party. Instead, he will watch the game at one of his six or seven houses.

If John McCain fell into either category 1 or 2, then I do think it would be in bad form not to attend Obama's shindig. But these are exceptional circumstances. John McCain is from Arizona. The Arizona Cardinals are from Arizona. The team was founded in 1898, back when McCain was just a teenager. The Cardinals have never won a Super Bowl (though they won the pre-Super-Bowl-era equivalent of it in 1947). So he has a more-than-passing interest in this game. He's a category 3, for sure.

Barack Obama (and Joe Biden) have been loud and clear about their support of the Steelers. By all accounts, the Steelers will win the game. Can you imagine what might happen if John McCain had to endure another in-your-face smackdown moment with Obama? The man is old and fragile, Rachel. Cut him some slack.




*Photo of Steelers running back Fast-Willie Parker, who hails from the Madame's childhood home.

Dick Armey damn glad he's not married to Joan Walsh

I kid you not. During what was intended to be a somewhat respectful political discussion just now on Hardball with Chris Matthews, House Republican Dick Armey interrupted Salon editor-in-chief Joan Walsh by saying something to the effect of "I'm glad you're not my wife so I don't have to hear you prattle on all the time."* As soon as a link to the video or transcript is available online, I will prove it to you. What a classy guy!

I just checked wikipedia to see if Armey actually has a wife, so that we could send her a sympathy card. I found no mention of a wife but did discover this delicious morsel, where in an episode of Family Guy, Peter meets Dick Armey and makes fun of his name, asking if his wife's name was "Vagina Coastguard."

UPDATE: *The actual quote was even pissier than I recalled: "I am so damn glad that you could never be my wife cuz I surely wouldn't have to listen to that prattle from you every day."

As promised:

Republicans favor tax breaks for the jobless

Really. Republicans want an economic stimulus package that focuses primarily on "fast-acting tax relief." Now I'm no economist. I'm a cat. But cat or no, it seems like a no-brainer that tax breaks aren't going to amount to a hill of beans for millions of people who are unemployed. Can someone set me straight on this? Am I missing something?

Blog post #248

I've been officially blogging for one year now. As you can see, it's taken a toll. It's going to be much harder in 2009 because of The Great Depression: The Sequel. Today, the NPR show Planet Money asked its listeners to suggest their own monikers for our econo-clusterfrak. My favorites so far:

David Walker: "The Not-So-Great-Depression."

Karen Ivy: "I'm with Marc Polster and Dick Evans - I like 'The Reckoning'. It has a nice Puritanical ring, as if spoken by a bearded man in a black coat (but not Ben Bernanke)."

Spoooooky.

Broken kneecaps? No such luck.

When I saw the headline that Dick Cheney would be watching the Inauguration from a wheelchair, I had all sorts of wicked fantasies. Turns out, he pulled a muscle in his back while moving. I can't believe he had to lift a finger. There are only a few million people who'd have helped get his sorry ass packed and gone.

Inauguration apparently too controversial for some Federal Way students

Humans. You never cease to amaze and entertain me. Some assbackward towns still don't seem to realize that their provincial acts are visible to the outside world via picture-tubes and the inter-webs. The words "laughing stock" should be taught in school districts like Federal Way in Washington State, where the powers-that-be have decided that students must have a signed permission slip from parents in order to watch the inauguration Tuesday.

“There is no big deal. The goal is to once again build partnerships, keep parents informed. Say ‘Hey. This is your child. Your education.’ We think it's a great opportunity. We're going to afford the kids that opportunity, but we want the parents to make that call,” said Dr. Joshua Joseph Garcia, Federal Way's Executive Director of Teaching for Learning.

The concern is that the televised inauguration was not listed in syllabus handed out at the beginning of the term. The district considers the inauguration a full length documentary, unlike some newspaper or internet reference articles which do not require pre-approval.

Students who don’t return the signed forms will go somewhere else for a different assignment.

Oh yeah, the Madame says. Like her fellow classmates who had to sit in study hall instead of going on the field trip because their forgetful parents didn't sign their permission slips.

The Madame tells me that events like shuttle launches, moon-walks and inaugurations of presidents are routine viewing in America's classrooms. We thinks we smell a rat.

Once a rat has made up its mind to groom you, there's no escaping it

The next person who puts this putrid towel on me ...

... is going to get a face full of Henry.

Do you know what cardinals are? They're essentially finches. They eat SEEDS.

It hurts. It really hurts.

Super freaky

Ever wonder what Rick James might have looked like if he'd been born in a stable?

Giddyup.

Can't we all just get along?

These guys have got it down pat.

Crisis averted: President Bush safe from potential weapons of mass destruction

Imagine if Muntazer al-Zaidi had gotten his hands on these.