I've been tagged (but not yet released)

My colleague over at The Political Cat swatted at me and connected. She "tagged" me to join a virtual confessional in which participants reveal six random things about themselves. I cannot compete with TPC, who has clearly lived a more precarious life than your faithful feline correspondent. Still, I shall add my revelations to the collective:

1. I believe that I gained my self-awareness after nicking scraps from a magical dumpster.

2. When I lived on the streets, I once stole a sandwich from a homeless person.

3. When I was born, my mother looked at me and said, "Some day, all the world will perch on your every word." OK, I made that up. What she actually said was, "Here are the milk dispensers. Wipe your mouth when you're done. I'm going to take nap."

4. I like rats. Not to eat. To observe. I admire their cunning, their creativity and the great extent to which they value extended family.

5. In cat years, I am 13. Thereabouts.

6. For many questions of style and grammar, I consult Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, which doles out very stern advice while still acknowledging: "The shape of our language is not rigid; in questions of usage we have no lawgiver whose word is final."

I HEREBY TAG:

• Sungold at Kittywampus, a political hero.

• Hipparchia at Over the Cliff, Onto the Rocks (Lemmings, Cliff, Rocks, Splat).

• David at Leave Me Alone, I'm Digging.

• Debbie at Debbie Does Life. She's really good at lists.

• Margaret and Helen over at Margaret and Helen, though they are probably way too famous to have time for this. I think it'd really be smashing if Margaret revealed six things about Helen, and vice versa. Those birds have known each other for 60 years. Imagine the secrets they could spill!

• Mrs. Wigglebottom, in care of Aunt B. at Tiny Cat Pants. Confess yourself, oh great and wondrous pit bull!

YOUR INSTRUCTIONS
(should you choose to accept this mission)
* Link to the person who tagged you.
* Post the rules on your blog.
* Write six random things about yourself.
* Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
* Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
* Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

* * * * * * * *

Confessions of my colleague ThePoliticalCat (with my responses in italics)

1. I once worked as a blackjack dealer in an illegal gambling club.
I once challenged a street cat named Blackjack to a duel. He lost.
A toe, an eye and his entire paycheck for the month.

2. I once had a reasonable degree of prowess in eight different languages,
thereby proving that you lose it if you don't use it.
I can communicate with Persians.

3. I once lived in a place with no electricity or water,
drawing my own water from a well and chopping wood to cook food.
I once lived in a place with no roof.

4. I helped my Dad make a lotus pond,
the enjoyment of which was mostly ruined by the drinking habits of a tigress and her cub.
I never met my dad, but my mother said he was more ruinous than a family of tigers.

5. I hiked 22 miles in a single day before I became a gimp.
Wow. I can't top that. My paws ache to think about it.

6. I once distracted a cobra so my siblings could flee before it spat at them.
I once lapped up some beer from a half-drunk bottle of King Cobra discarded in an alley.
I did a spit-take and sprayed malt liquor all over my siblings.