E-pologies: The newest way to adulterate your contrition

Occasionally, I throw up on things. There was that ill-fated modem catastrophe. And there's been a time or two when I wasn't able to jump off the bedspread in time. But the Madame and Mister are very forgiving. I apologize for being sick, and then they apologize for attempting to poison me.

But often it's inconvenient to apologize in person. Or to call. Or even to craft an e-mail. Sometimes you just want software to do it for you. Announcing: I'm Sorry.com. For free, you can e-mail a virtual olive branch to anyone you've wronged. Shell out a few bucks, and the person will receive a fancier card. You can even send housewares and apparel with the I'm Sorry logo—including the I'm Sorry boxer shorts ($20) and the I'm Sorry beer steins ($15). You know, so the person will always remember the time you "accidentally" dropped a hair dryer into her bathtub.

Supposedly, the folks at I'm Sorry.com donate part of the money to charity (although I have no idea how you can verify this). This way, your transgress-ee knows that you're not only terribly sorry about him or her, but also about starving children. It's hard to not forgive someone like that.