Tuesday, August 5, 2008

This blog is gay and dangerous

I discovered a Web tool whereby you can input your URL and be given a motion-picture-style-rating for your blog or Web site. Apparently, a software program scans for objectionable words. As with the MPAA ratings board, whose inner workings are unknown even to filmmakers (see This Film is Not Yet Rated for an investigation of this mystery-shrouded process), I can't find who authored this Web ranking program or a list of words that trigger the censors.

Henry's Travels was given a rating of PG-13 for the use of bastards twice and dead once. Based on feedback from other bloggers, it appears that the words kill, gun, gay, murder, hurt, dick and sex can also get you in trouble.

I decided to enter the addresses of a variety of Web sites to see what popped up. The National Breast Cancer Foundation received a PG-rating for using the word breast six times. The Breast Cancer Site is even more flagrant, getting its R-rating for using breast 20 times. Breast, breast, breast, breast, breast, breast, breast, breast, breast. Take that, censors!

The official White House Web site managed to keep a G-rating by limiting the use of the word dangerous to once, as did Walmart.com, which was judicious in its use of the word kill (1 time).

A Christianity Today web page promoting abstinence to teens received, ironically, an R-rating for using the word sex 20 times and abortion once. And Say No to Drugs, which "educates children as young as 6 on the dangers of drugs and challenges them to remain drug-free," gets an R-rating for the use of the word drugs 22 times on its Web site. I imagine it'd be hard to get kids to say no to drugs without saying the word drugs.

Ah, humans. Never a dull moment.

This just in: My rating has been downgraded (or upgraded, depending on how you look at it) to NC-17. A real blow. Now I'll never make it into the mainstream.

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