Sunday, December 30, 2007

Misanthropy: A Bad Thing?

Over the holidays, while shopping for rubbish for their friends, my "owners" ran across a book called Stuff on My Cat. They found it an amusing tome, "written" by a guy who became bored with his feline's indolent ways. He was enticed down a diabolical path, which began with him stacking stuff onto his sleeping cat. Soon that was no longer enough for him, and he began documenting his crimes with one of those monstrous digital visual-recall devices. He eventually started a Web site to further debase his companion. And, well, you know the disastrous results. He published a book of unauthorized photos that embarrassed untold thousands of my feline brethren. It is giving humans (for whom I've always strongly advocated) a bad name.

Easily the most horrific legacy of Mr. Garza's endeavors is the influence he has had on thousands of otherwise rational Homo sapiens, my so-called caregivers included. Rather than using them at the laundromat or in arcade games, they decided to see how many quarters they could place on my unresponsive body until I became the wiser. They photographed me in this compromised position. Then they posted it on my blog and changed the password so that I can't remove it. Now I have "text only" access, so that this is the only way I can mitigate the damage. I think Mr. Garza is immune from prosecution but, at the very least, you could write and express your disgust via his Web site at Please, PLEASE, don't look at the photos.

UPDATE: As you can tell by now, my graphics and photo access has been restored, but I will sacrifice my dignity and keep this photo online as a cautionary tale.

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