I've been found out

The Madame is put out with me because when she wasn't in her office, I changed the name of one of her deskop file folders to "3222222222222...5c..ds." I had been trying to frame Max, but my plot failed. She said Max would've named it "askjdfa;i eh if bjx,vvvvcjilllleiopflskj78593jgiljkslj." He is long-winded that way.

No, Mr. President. It's NOT like Special Olympics.

President Obama said on The Tonight Show that his bowling prowess was "like Special Olympics." Because of Obama's foot-in-mouth moment, Special Olympian Kolan McConiughey is getting some time in the spotlight. This perfect-gamer would most certainly crush the president if they squared off at the White House lanes. Watch Kolan bowl.

Quotable quotes

On Glenn Beck:

"If the dumbing down of political commentary continues along this trajectory, the next pundit to make the grade will be a hyena. Even the leather-winged shouting heads at Fox News look like intellectual giants next to this bleating, benighted Cassandra. It's like someone found a manic, doom-prophesying hobo in a sandwich board, shaved him, shot him full of Zoloft and gave him a show.

— The Beast, 2006

To try to make up for cutting into my blogging time, the Madame submitted my likeness to Lolcats. And she added this caption. Can't believe she's an editor, but she fits right in with that ICanHasCheezburger crowd. You may leave your words of admiration here.

Competing for space

In case you're wondering where I've been: The Madame has been hogging the computer. Something about having "real" work to do. Is what I do any less real, just because I don't get paid for it? Don't lose patience, readers. I will try to exploit any available window of opportunity through which to speak my piece.

Hillary Clinton needs a new personal shopper

OK, I'm confused. The embarrassment was over the misspelling? Where's the mortification about the historical connotation of "the button"?

Felicidal tendencies?